So, as I was driving my daughter to her dance thing yesterday, an engine warning light appeared on my dashboard.....
Let me be very honest with you - I hate driving. Cars just don't make any sense to me. So when the light appeared, I panicked! Then I googled. And then I realised it was just tyre pressure: an easy fix.... which I then didn't fix.
Putting air in a car tyre is one of those easy jobs that everyone on the planet seems to know how to do, except for me. And if you tried to teach me, I would more than likely not be able to take in a word you were saying. Until recently, not being able to do simple things like this would have made me feel really stupid. I would have felt too embarrassed to ask for help.
But now I know this happens because I have ADHD. My brain just works differently.
Getting things done when the brain stops braining!
The combination of trying to do something that is important, but not interesting to my brain, plus panic, makes my mind go completely blank. The executive function area of my brain crashes and I experience a kind of mental freeze that I can't seem to do anything about.
In the words of one of my students, it's like my brain just stops braining!
So when I'm teaching and a student looks at me as if I've talking to them in ancient Greek, and says "I don't get it"... I understand. I really, really understand!!
I understand that feeling of panic and embarrassment, when someone's telling you something that you know is really simple - but it's like your brain has a back door that's been left open, and everything they say goes in through your ears and straight back out again.
I understand how frustrating it is when you desperately want to get something, but your brain just - for whatever reason - will not do it!
I understand how embarrassing it feels to say "I'm sorry, I know you've told me this a lot of times already, but can you tell me again - I forgot."
I understand how hard it is trying to co-ordinate your body to do a task, when you just can't figure out what limb needs to go where!
Following the dopamine
ADHD brains work differently. It's not that they lack attention.. it's that they can often only give attention to the things they're interested in. In ADHD, there is not enough dopamine being produced by the brain. Dopamine is the brain chemical that makes us feel good! It gets us motivated to do all the things we don't really want to do, and it helps us to learn. ADHD brains search for interesting things to do and think about to help boost our low dopamine levels - our attention is focused on meeting our dopamine needs.
This is why a person with ADHD might know everything there is to know about something they are interested in, but can't retain information about simple things.
This is also why people with ADHD who begin learning to play piano are so frequently musically gifted individuals with a natural ability to express themselves through musical sound, but find reading sheet music an almost impossible task!
And it's why I will be spending the rest of the morning writing up a PhD research proposal on the phenomenology of musical perception, whilst my car tyres slowly deflate on the road outside!
How to approach learning piano when you have ADHD
This blog post is not a list of tips and tricks. It's not a list of 10 easy ways to overcome the piano student version of the "big wall of awful" (as described by Brendan Mahan of ADHD Essentials) that ADHDers feel when they know a task is easy, but the brain just won't.
It's not easy!!
If it was easy, you cant bet someone with ADHD would of hyper-focused on it already, and embarked on a social justice mission to inform the world of the solution!
ADHD brains and the intricacies of musical notation are not a good mix!! Unless of course you happen to be a music theory nerd and find it totally fascinating! But more often than not, musical notation is a MASSIVE "wall of awful" for ADHDers!!
We tend to think that unless a person can read music they aren't a "proper" musician, and that if you want to learn piano then it's non negotiable - the neurotypical world tells us "you must read the notes!"
As one of the aforementioned music theory nerds, reading and writing musical language is something I understand and actually really enjoy! But that's not how I learn piano.
I learn by ear and by recognising musical patterns and shapes. I sort of visualise the sound in my mind... and it doesn't look anything like musical notes!! And that's fine!! It's allowed!
Maybe you learn by watching piano visualisation videos on YouTube, or maybe you like reading chord sheets. Maybe you find annotating the music with colour helpful, or you find it easier to just watch someone else's fingers and copy what they play. Maybe you create and improvise your own music, or pick out tunes by ear.
All of these ways of learning and playing piano are absolutely fine!!! Whatever works for you to help you enjoy learning and playing piano is 100% okay and valid, no matter what it looks like, or what anyone else has to say about it!
If you would like some help and support along the way, get in touch. I've taught lots of people with ADHD to play piano - having insider knowledge kind of helps!